The Non-Wedding that Almost Was

Mr. Rucksack and I came this close to putting down a deposit on a completely different wedding.

We found the initial wedding planning to be Stressful with a huge capital S. So after taking some time off from thinking about it we refocused and then made a list of the things that were important to us: our family, our best friends, amazing food, and of course getting married to each other. That's when we decided to whittle down our guest list to a mere 20 people and find a venue that could cater to a small wedding. We narrowed it down to a couple of places and started making phone calls. A week later we stood inside our favorite vineyard in Connecticut.

Via Chamard Vineyard

I know, right?

The moment we stepped into their basement wine cellar I started crying. This was it.

Image via Hana Floral Design / Photo by Carrie Roseman / Event by True Event

Here it is all set up for a dinner party. You can't see it from this view, but on the opposite wall is a screen and projector that we planned on showing a continuous slideshow throughout our reception.

We began planning right away. The ceremony would be held in the vineyard among the grape vines. The reception would be in the cellar. Chamard would provide us with an amazing farm to table dinner. We would spend our wedding with our most important people. And I would not have to stress about anything. I felt awesome.

We told our parents and our friends. We apologized to those we wouldn't be able to invite.Then we made an appointment to see the venue one last time when Mr. Rucksack's parents were visiting from Minnesota and brought along our checkbook.

But then a turn of events changed everything. Mr. Rucksack's parents were very supportive of the whole plan, but I began feeling tremendous amounts of guilt. The night before we were going to the venue, I couldn't sleep. I kept feeling bad about all the people we weren't inviting. It also seemed crazy that we would have to have not only our wedding, but two parties afterward in order to celebrate with both our Connecticut friends and family and our Minnesota friends and family. Mr. Rucksack 's parents wanted to be involved with all of the parties, and I just couldn't ask them to shell out all of that money and time.

We went to see the venue the next day, but since Mr. Rucksack's parents had a flight change and needed to leave earlier, we also had to go to the venue a little earlier. Unfortunately it turned out that the venue coordinator couldn't see us at that time, so we were sort of left to our own devices to wander the property.

I was kind of grumpy from not sleeping, it was cold and rainy, and I was utterly confused. All of those things combined did not make for a pleasant viewing as we rushed through the various receptions spots. We left feeling very confused and as if we had fallen out of love with our venue.

Had our coordinator been able to see us or had it been sunny or had I actually slept the night before, we could have had a very different outcome and then I'd be telling you about a different wedding altogether.

Of course, that's not how this story ends. Instead, we changed our entire wedding overnight and although it's sometimes stressful, it really is just right.

Did you have second thoughts about your venue or change your mind at the last minute?