The Great Lobster Invitation Reveal

My biggest DIY undertaking for the wedding was definitely our invitation suite. I designed the whole thing with a little help from some purchased stock images. By the time I created this gem, I had already completed at least six other designs. Since Mr. Rucksack and I couldn't agree, it was back to the drawing board. Maybe someday I'll open an Etsy shop so that all of those designs don't go to waste. I thought some of them were pretty darn cute:

A small sample of my nixed creative work

I decided to go back to our Save the Date roots and incorporate the lobsters again. I mean, who doesn't love an adorable lobster? I also stayed with the navy and white color scheme to appease Mr. Rucksack since he wasn't a fan of the pink and aqua colors I had used in the other invitation sets I created. After playing around with layouts, I went with a tri-fold card with lots of lobsters and shells:

The front of the invitation

Partially opened

All the deets

Back of the postcard Response Card

Invitation & Response Card

The whole suite, including the thank you card

For some reason, I naively thought that designing our invitations would actually save us money. (Our Save the Dates had been so inexpensive!) What I didn't consider was that we were now a) printing on both sides b) using much longer paper that had to be cut down to accommodate our 6x18 cards and c) having folds included. Folds cost money. Mad money. I was able to negotiate the price a little so they weren't ridiculously expensive, but we definitely could have saved money (and time!) by going the stock online route.

I used Allegra out of New Haven to print everything because I’ve worked with them for years through both my day job and my outside design work. They were wonderful to work with as always, but I was a little disappointed with how long it all took. They were a few days late on both of the proofs and then a day late on the final invitations. We were cutting it close to the advised 6-8 week mark as it was, so I was panicking a little. Everyone’s incessant nagging of “where’s my invitation?” did not help matters.

They ended up going out at the 7 week mark which Miss Manners assures me is just fine. And I have to tell you, all of the praise we've received made them seem well worth the wait and the price.

One of my favorite parts of the invitation was our envelope. In Photoshop, I manipulated our lobster graphic from the invitations so that his claws would hold our stamps. The body wrapped around the top of the invitation and became part of our address label. I know I would smile if I had a little lobster delivering my mail!

Did you DIY your invitations? What was your biggest challenge?

Chow Down! The Rucksack Menu!

A couple of months ago our menu tasting with our caterer was rescheduled due to a conflict. It was a sad day and an anxious 3 weeks as we eagerly waited and crossed our fingers that the food would be as amazing as we hoped. (Spoiler alert - it was)

I found Forks & Fingers through Weddingwire, saw a menu on their website that I liked and then emailed with Stephanie a few times to get the price and feel where we wanted it. When we met with Mark & Stephanie the first time, we talked a little bit more and then sort of left it up to them. They're totally brilliant and came up with a menu that's beyond perfect and definitely matches with our casual beach chic wedding. 

Onto the tasting! It's nearing lunchtime here and looking at these pictures definitely has me salivating over my keyboard here.

First up, we tried one of our signature drinks: a vodka spiked watermelon lemonade. Mr. Rucksack really needed it after a long day at work. I don't usually love watermelon, but this was tasty. 

We arrived a little early with Momma Rucksack, so we waited and drank and chatted until the hor's devores came out. Stephanie even put on some Buble to set the mood.

The first thing we got to try was a watermelon spoon with jalapeno oil and cilantro. They were so refreshing. Again, this made me change my outlook on watermelon. If you peek in the background you'll see our gourmet pizzetas too. New Haven is known for its pizza, so this was really important to me. We tried two kinds: a classic mozz with basil and fire roasted tomatoes followed by a goat cheese and raspberry pizza.

The Rucksacks don't eat usually gluten, but we cheated a bit to taste a bite of each pizza. Obviously we had to try them for the sake of our guests, right? The raspberry pizza may be one of the best things I have ever put in my mouth.

Momma Rucksack is halfway through her first Whole30 on her way to joining the Paleo cult, but she was kind enough to join in the tasting too. Thanks for taking one for the team, Momma Rucksack! ;-)

When I asked for steamers, I had no idea what Mark and Stephanie had in store. When each serving of clams came out in their own individual pots, I just about peed myself from excitement. There are also some chicken fajitas on that little plate. They were good too, but OMG individual steamer pots!

 Trying the fajitas. We're not in pain, I promise.

Next up we tried the salad! Mr. Rucksack thought there was too much stuff on it, but he is crazy. I got to have a bite of goat cheese, strawberry, golden beet, pomegranate and balsamic with every piece of lettuce. That's my kind of salad!

We tried hard to pace ourselves so that we'd have room for the entrees, but we were still shocked to see the big feast we had ahead of us. Below is our buffet in action (minus the veggie kebobs which I didn't get a photo of.). You guys, we each got one of these plates so I didn't have to share with anyone! From left to right: asparagus risotto, grilled lobster tail, summer corn succotash, grilled steak kebobs, and some sort of amazing chicken with asparagus, kalamata olives and feta. It was incredible times a million.

This was the best "wedding food" I've ever had which is pretty perfect since our one big requirement was "no typical wedding food." Honestly, I would have been thrilled to order any one of those items at a restaurant. (I asked if I could come back every night for dinner, but apparently they have other events....boooo)

My mom agreed that it was incredible, but said she's planning on playing down the awesomeness when telling everyone else about the food. "That way, their minds will be blown!" She said. She's weird.

Did you choose a caterer that would give you non-traditional wedding food? How did your tasting go?

A picture's worth a thousand words, and a photographer costs way more

Like most things I've taken on in the wedding planning process, I attacked the photography decision with a type A kind of fervor that can only be described as insane, or spectacular if you happen to be just as crazy as I am.

You see, I love the decision process and the massive Excel spreadsheets that go along with making an informed decision. It's probably why I'm a business analyst. I can spreadsheet and analyze all day long. So for me, finding a great photographer wasn't just about finding some pretty images. It was about comparing styles, prices, emotion, and reviews in a systematic way.

I started with a very specific methodology and requirements that were narrowed down as I dove into my research.

Requirements:
1. Bright, crisp images. The whole vintage Instagrammy look is really popular right now and I knew that was not for me. I want bright, not overly exposed, images.

2. Real looking photos. On the other end of the spectrum I don't like photos that are overly processed to be too bright or fake looking. Sky should be sky colored, not neon "look at me, I'm the sky!" blue.

3. That "it" factor feeling. This was one of those intangible requirements: the "I'll know it when I see it" feeling. Basically, if a photo got me to cry, get goosebumps, or to audibly say "wow" then it was a winner.

4. Low cost. Like most items on our wedding list, we had a tight budget for photography too. The cost requirement for us was under $2500.

Methodology:
Here's where I got weird with it. Most likely, the sensible place to start would have been with cost. However, I didn't want a photographer's cost to affect my thoughts about their quality. (High cost? They must be amazing! Low cost? What's wrong with them?)

So I started by judging the books purely by their covers and came up with a lovely and lengthy list of 28 photographers that I had ranked from 4-5 on my 1-5 point scale. Once I had my list, I looked up the prices or contacted the photographers for their price quotes. This was a heartbreaking process since I learned that a few of my top contenders were in the $5-7,000 range.

 Melani Lust made me cry twice: Once when I first saw her awesome wow factor photos, and again when she gave me her price list. Seriously, you guys:

Photos by Melani Lust

These couples look like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. That's the look what I want.

Once I finally had my list narrowed down to the 10 photographers that were both in my price range and met all of my other requirements, I looked into availability. Now, I was really naive in thinking that 10 months was plenty enough time to book a photographer. Turns out they book up fast! Thankfully, I was still left with a nice little list of 5 photographers.

Sometimes you gotta throw it all away:
Wasn't expecting this subtitle from my super controlled methods, were you? Well, luckily fate stepped in here when one of my coworkers began to focus more on her photography career. "Say what now?" As she showed me more and more of her work, I began to become convinced that she should be our photographer. She loved all of the same photographers that I did (and even took classes with one of my favorites!), totally understood the style I wanted, and produced these amazing "Oh wow!" inspired photos.

Mutual friends of Abbey's and mine who clearly should be fashion models. Engagement photos by, of course, Abigail Scott

We booked her for our engagement photos partially for fun and partially as a test run for our wedding day. The results speak for themselves:

 

 

Photos by Abigail Scott

Shortly after receiving our images we signed a contract with Abbey! She's not only amazing to work with, but she fit all of our requirements and with a lovely "friendor" discount, she even comes in significantly under budget for us! Hell freaking yeah.

So now that I picked a photographer who was not at all in my carefully orchestrated plans, do I feel like I did all of that work for nothing? Not at all! I definitely learned a lot through that process, including what I wanted and what I didn't want in a photographer. Had I not done all of that research, I don't know if I would quite as positive about putting my trust in Abbey. Plus, I now have some amazing ideas for "must have shots."


How did you pick your photographer?

Sugar, Oh Honey Honey, We're going on a Honeymoon!

What does it say about us that we booked our honeymoon before we even booked our caterer?

I'll tell you: It means we were sick of looking at this:

If you're from or you have friends in the Northeast, then you probably got really sick of seeing all of those "OMG it's snowing again!" Facebook posts. Trust me, so were we.

Which is why we spent a lot of our time looking at beautiful far away lands where the people were warm and tan and happy.

Mr. Rucksack and I knew that we wanted to go overseas where we could have a mix of sightseeing and nothing-doing. Originally, we considered France, but the more we thought about it the more I knew I would not be able to relax in France. I would want to see everything! In just a couple of days of planning our ultimate French honeymoon I had a jam packed itinerary that left little room for relaxation. Mr. Rucksack suggested Croatia and the more we read the more we loved it.

The Knot even named Croatia as one of the top budget honeymoon destinations.

Image via The Knot

We fell in love with the mixture of old world charm and coastal vacation paradise. But I also read that traveling can be tricky in the area without a rental car, and I did not want to have to worry about navigating a foreign country.

We started looking at cruises, but realized that typical cruising just didn't feel like us. The last thing I wanted was to be on a giant boat with thousands of people on our honeymoon. While I know lots of people that love cruising, I wanted something more intimate.

On a whim I visited JetSetter - Gilt Groupe's travel site. I love all of those amazing sample sale sites, and Gilt is my favorite. I'd heard good things about JetSetter and Mr. America's coworker even booked her honeymoon through their personal travel services. To my surprise, right there on the front page was a flash sale for a small 49 person sailboat cruise through Greece, Croatia, Albania & Montenegro!

We did a little research and checked with my travel expert uncle, then quickly booked after drinking a bottle of wine on Valentine's day. I cannot wait to spend a week exploring on this baby:

Mountains, ocean and castles all in one place? Paradise, I tell you! 

Above photos via JetSetter

My amazing aunt & uncle are even gifting us our flight so that our whole vacation is now paid for! Since my uncle used his super duper traveler miles, flight times out of the tiny island of Corfu were a little limited which means we'll have to spend a few extra days in Corfu, Greece when we return from our cruise. Sucks to be us, right?

Photos via Marabella Beach Hotel

So now I'm sitting in my little office with my heater blasting on high just pretending this is my real view!

Did you start planning your honeymoon to combat the winter blues?

Love is a Mix Tape: Choosing the Ceremony Music

Mr. Rucksack recently received an email of wedding song suggestions from one of his groomsmen. Some of them were wildly inappropriate and some of them were totally awesome, but they definitely reminded me that we need to start thinking more about music choices.

Having just solidified our DJ for the big event, Mr. Rucksack and I sat down with little cousin GM Brobot to start thinking about our "must have" and "do not play" song lists. GM Brobot focused on the reception, putting lots of thought into his choices. My favorite picks from my 9 year old cousin's list? "Boombastic" and "Safety Dance". Yep, I told you the kid is cool.

Mr. Rucksack and I focused on our ceremony and first dance songs. Luckily, we have a full list of songs we consider "our songs." With our extreme love of music (hello, we met during karaoke) I'm happy that we're getting married on the beach and don't have any restrictions on the music we can play.

Prelude: "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. This is one of our all-time favorite songs and one that we duet together all the time. We knew we had to fit it into our ceremony somehow.

    
"I Will" by the Beatles. It's a classic and also a favorite here in the Rucksack house. It's also the first song Mr. Rucksack played for me on his guitar.

Processional: "Marry You" by Bruno Mars. I know, could we be any more predictable? But seriously, what a great song and I think our bridal party will have fun walking down the aisle to an upbeat song. Plus, this engagement video? Still one of my favorite YouTube videos ever.

Bridal March: "Sea of Love" by Cat Power. One of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I have ever heard. I was randomly humming this around the house for weeks before it finally occurred to me to use this as my entrance song. It's not only gorgeous and the perfect tempo, but it's about being by the sea! And who's getting married by the sea? This girl!

Recessional: "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes. Mr. Rucksack sings this song to me all the time. I can't wait to smooch my new husband when this song starts playing!

Are you using non-traditional music in your ceremony?

Holy Whole Foods, Batman

In the past year, Mr. Rucksack and I have joined that whole Paleo/Crossfit cult you may have heard of. Because of our commitment to eat healthy, non-processed foods, Whole Foods is kind of our mecca. Of course, our love affair with Whole Foods isn't entirely new. In fact, Mr. Rucksack worked at Whole Foods when he was a graduate student in Hartford. (He worked in the cheese department and his dad still sometimes refers to Mr. Rucksack as the king of cheese!)

Soon after we got engaged, Mr. Rucksack and I were shopping at our local Whole Foods when I literally stopped to smell the roses. "I would totally just use these as our wedding flowers," I told Mr. Rucksack. He asked "Well, why not?" And I thought well, yeah....why not?

These tiny bouquets are a mere $9.99 and they're gorgeous.

Via Yelp 

Plus even more full sized (and cheap!) options from my last visit:

Whole Foods will work with you to create custom floral arrangements too, so that we won't just be buying up a bunch of flowers at the last minute. (Pretty sure that's what Momma Rucksack pictured when I first told her our plan.) The only downside is that because everything is sourced locally (which is really a good thing), we're extremely limited in availability. Luckily, the Milford Whole Foods Florist, Frankie, was able to help out. She made a lot of phone calls and was able to pre-order pink dahlias, pink ranunculus (my favorite) and billy balls.  The rest she'll choose from whatever comes in fresh that day. It's a little scary, but I think I'm in good hands!

From Left to Right: Dahlia via Wikimedia; Ranunculus via Whole Blossoms; and Billy Balls via Whole Blossoms

In addition to purchasing our flowers at Whole Foods, they'll also be making our cakes for our cake buffet. They have the yummiest strawberry shortcake layer cake and one of the best chocolate cakes ever - and that's coming from someone who's not a big cake fan. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't feel like I'm eating a pound of confectioner's sugar when I eat their cakes. While they won't be making our small paleo cutting cake (I'm trusting that to a gluten free baker), I totally trust them to serve up a bunch of yummy cakes for our guests.

I would honestly be happy scooping up any and all of these cakes on our wedding day. 

At $27 per cake we'll be way under the typical cake budget and our guests will have plenty of options.

There are a couple of downsides to going the grocery route though, two points that Momma Rucksack keeps pointing out every time she's given a chance.The biggest being that someone will have to pick up all of the goodies the day before the wedding. Currently I've volunteered myself and a bridesmaid, but we'll see what sorts of drama unfolds. Worst case scenario, there will be plenty of family and friends around that I can bribe. Not to mention, my car was born for this job:

Via Cookin with Mama

That's right. 3 rows of fold-down seats in that baby. We can fit all sorts of wedding goods in that trunk.

Would you consider using a grocery store for any of your wedding items?

A Bad Case of Bride Brain

Every now and then I find myself suffering from symptoms of the dreaded bride brain. Like most things in my life, I blame Pinterest. With all of those amazing options out there, it's hard not to suffer from bridal overload.

For instance, I recently saw these adorable ceramic strawberry baskets at Anthropologie and my mind immediately went to: "Must have cute Anthro inspired farm wedding! Somebody find me a farm!"

Via Anthropologie

With all of the moving pieces of wedding planning, it's hard to keep focused and not get off track once in awhile. My brain right now looks a little like this:

Don't worry, boss, there's still a little bit of brain matter left for the workday. But let me tell you, as soon as I get home and I have any semblance of downtime, I go immediately into bridal brain overload. This usually occurs during those 10pm-6am hours that I typically like to reserve for things like, I don't know....sleep. Thanks a lot, overactive brain.

Several nights in a row I actually woke up drenched in sweat with my brain screaming "Who's going to hang all the lanterns???"

Image via The Knot  / Photo by Shelly Mossman Photography

It was then and there that I decided I needed a Day of Coordinator. And it was the next day that I learned, DOC's can be expensive! I called a few wedding planners and was quoted an insane amount of $1500 for one day. Not including lantern setup because "We'll have to hire an insured decorating company for that." Um, what? Then what am I hiring you for?

Luckily, I also contacted Carisa from CR Socials. During our free consultation - where she bought a stressed out me a glass of wine - she immediately put me at ease. Carisa laughed at me when I blurted out "I was up all night thinking about the lanterns! Who's going to put up the lanterns!" She assured me she was fully capable of putting up lanterns.....and running our rehearsal, coordinating my vendors, collecting all of my DIY and purchased wedding decor, decorating, running our wedding, and cleaning up after.

"Oh yeah?" I chided, "And how much is that going to cost me?" I had heard all this before only to be burned by the cost. You can imagine the happy dance I did when I found out she fits right in our budget!

What sorts of things gave you bride brain?

The big bad "B" word

That's right: We're here to talk about the dreaded bridesmaid dress.I don't know about you, but when I think "bridesmaid dress" I immediately think "really expensive ugly freaking dress that I will never wear again." Something along the lines of this masterpiece:

Via UglyDress.com

I think I put a lot of unnecessary stress on myself over choosing bridesmaids dresses. The girls kept insisting that they would wear anything I asked them to even if it was a paper bag, but I wanted to make sure they were happy too. That meant I wanted to keep the costs low and the chance of wearing it again high.

I was really adamant that I wanted to choose dresses that cost less than $100, but it turned out that was easier said than done. While I found some options at David's Bridal, they were still a little too "bridesmaidy" for my taste.

Since Mr. Rucksack and I are getting married on the beach, I wanted the girls to be casual and comfortable. It was also important that they match the rest of our bridal party look.

Oh hello, model version of us poorly photoshopped onto a beach:

I had visions of the girls wearing preppy cotton sundresses in navy or in seersucker, but surprise surprise those classic preppy dresses cost more than a pretty penny at $250+ each.

Lula Kate: Sassy Stripes; Lula Kate: Zoe; Coren Moore: Laurie; & Thread Shiloh

Oh pretty preppy dresses, why must you tease me so?

It took hours of hair pulling and several visits to J Crew's website fawning over their $235 Navy Cotton Cady dresses, but I finally made a random move that changed the course of my bridesmaids dresses forever.

What I had failed to do in all of my visits to J Crew was to hit that magic little button that takes you to the factory website. I know. I can't believe it took me so long either - I always love the factory!

What happened next I can assure you was like a movie moment complete with happy love song soundtrack. If my laptop and I could have run in slow motion toward each other, that would have happened too. In my head, that's exactly how it went down.

When I clicked on "Dresses" I was transported to a magical land where bridesmaids dresses cost only $50 and where they looked exactly as I had imagined.

All dresses via J Crew Factory

I immediately sent an email out to a couple of the girls for advice and as soon as they gave approval, I emailed the whole crew with ordering information. The girls will be able to choose any of the above dresses or even one of the J Crew Cotton Cady dresses from the regular site. That way I'll get a somewhat uniform look, but the girls can wear what makes them the most comfortable. And hello...$50 bridesmaid dress? That is unheard of!

I'm really excited to see which dress they each pick and can't wait to see them all together!

Did you choose matching dresses for your girls or did you have a variety of styles - or even a variety of colors?

Miss Rucksack Tips for Surviving a Bridal Show

When I was a single Miss Rucksack, I loved me some bridal shows. Fashion shows, giveaways, and free cake? Count me in! In college, friends and I even took turns "playing bride" at bridal shows and used our fabulous improv skills to make up elaborate stories about our fiance's, engagement stories, and our wedding plans. You guys, we took it to the limit.

*For the record, my fake story was: engaged to an investment banker, he proposed while we were moving into our new house (We ordered Chinese food after a hard day of moving and he asked me to open the kitchen wares box. I was annoyed because - hello? who needs forks and plates with Chinese takeout? When I finally opened the kitchen box and pulled away the newspaper, there was a ring box!) and the elaborate wedding weekend would be held at The Inn at Longshore in Westport, CT. Like I said, we were not kidding around.*

Attending a bridal show as a bride is a completely different experience. It's somewhat like being the most popular girl at a dance and having a bunch of horny nerdy guys trying to get you to dance with them. Or like being a piece of bacon surrounded by a group of dogs.

Via FanPop

The point is, everybody wants a piece of you and your precious wedding budget.

While attending our first bridal show as an engaged couple, Mr. Rucksack and I quickly came up with some ground rules, made simpler since we were really just in search of a DJ.

1. Avoid eye contact with vendors. They will suck you in if they catch you looking and they can smell fear, or at least confusion. Mr. Rucksack and I would scout a couple of vendors ahead to check out the offerings and would march right past them if they weren't what we were looking for. No use in wasting everybody's time, now is there?

2. Fill out the raffle tickets since you never know what you might win. But also don't fill out fill out anything that you don't necessarily want because those vendors now have all of your contact information and they will continue to contact you until they go out of business.

3. When it comes to finding a DJ, it is okay to judge a book by its cover. We avoided anyone that was over the age of 60, was dressed terribly, or sported a flock of seagulls haircut.

Via Duksta

I'm sorry, but how is this a thing?

4. Sampling cake is great, but don't go overboard. This was a given for us since we don't eat gluten. We also don't particularly like cake. Still, surrounded by frilly dresses, flowers, and estrogen, I was a little tempted. I'm so glad I didn't partake, because I'm sure the sugar would have just about taken me down with the heat and stress of that bridal maze.

5. Prepare for the marathon ahead of time. This means, a) go in with a game plan of what you need and then stick to it. Otherwise you will be there all day. b) dress for the event. It will be warm, there will be a lot of people, you'll be doing a lot of walking and talking. Leave your coat in the car and don't wear heels. c) fuel yourself. Having a big breakfast before hand really stopped us from splurging on cake and luke-warm appetizers. d) arm yourself with water.You'll be talking to a lot of people and you'll want to stay hydrated.

By following our guidelines we made it out in about an hour and we found our DJ!

Do you have any more tips for surviving bridal shows?

Dressing the Gents

Now that we've covered my bridal clothing ad nauseum, it's time to share the spotlight with the men.

Mr. Rucksack is quite a dapper dude. He's a lover of all things preppy so his closet is very full of oxford shirts, bow ties, and embroidered pants. Since he's definitely a man who knows what he likes and because he has such great taste, I've left it up to him to choose the attire for the guys side of the bridal party.

Luckily being on the beach, it was an easy decision.

Peppermint Bliss Real Wedding via The Shoreside Bride

Our boys will be all prepped out in Nantucket Reds - an item which I'm pretty sure at least half the boys already own. They'll pair those white button downs, navy blue blazers and a playful patterned bow tie of their choice. We're trying to keep things as simple and inexpensive as possible for our entire bridal party, and that comes with the added bonus that they get to feel comfortable with their choices. Plus, I think it'll be really cool to see a bunch of cute boys with mismatched preppy bow ties.

Mr. Rucksack chose this tie from Country Club Prep

I'm so happy with his choice and I think our boys will look great. I'm also happy that they won't have to spend much money, an issue we may have had if we had gone with tuxes or Mr. Rucksack's second choice: seersucker suits.

What are your guys wearing? Did your man choose his own outfit?