Love is a Mix Tape: Choosing the Ceremony Music

Mr. Rucksack recently received an email of wedding song suggestions from one of his groomsmen. Some of them were wildly inappropriate and some of them were totally awesome, but they definitely reminded me that we need to start thinking more about music choices.

Having just solidified our DJ for the big event, Mr. Rucksack and I sat down with little cousin GM Brobot to start thinking about our "must have" and "do not play" song lists. GM Brobot focused on the reception, putting lots of thought into his choices. My favorite picks from my 9 year old cousin's list? "Boombastic" and "Safety Dance". Yep, I told you the kid is cool.

Mr. Rucksack and I focused on our ceremony and first dance songs. Luckily, we have a full list of songs we consider "our songs." With our extreme love of music (hello, we met during karaoke) I'm happy that we're getting married on the beach and don't have any restrictions on the music we can play.

Prelude: "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. This is one of our all-time favorite songs and one that we duet together all the time. We knew we had to fit it into our ceremony somehow.

    
"I Will" by the Beatles. It's a classic and also a favorite here in the Rucksack house. It's also the first song Mr. Rucksack played for me on his guitar.

Processional: "Marry You" by Bruno Mars. I know, could we be any more predictable? But seriously, what a great song and I think our bridal party will have fun walking down the aisle to an upbeat song. Plus, this engagement video? Still one of my favorite YouTube videos ever.

Bridal March: "Sea of Love" by Cat Power. One of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I have ever heard. I was randomly humming this around the house for weeks before it finally occurred to me to use this as my entrance song. It's not only gorgeous and the perfect tempo, but it's about being by the sea! And who's getting married by the sea? This girl!

Recessional: "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes. Mr. Rucksack sings this song to me all the time. I can't wait to smooch my new husband when this song starts playing!

Are you using non-traditional music in your ceremony?

Holy Whole Foods, Batman

In the past year, Mr. Rucksack and I have joined that whole Paleo/Crossfit cult you may have heard of. Because of our commitment to eat healthy, non-processed foods, Whole Foods is kind of our mecca. Of course, our love affair with Whole Foods isn't entirely new. In fact, Mr. Rucksack worked at Whole Foods when he was a graduate student in Hartford. (He worked in the cheese department and his dad still sometimes refers to Mr. Rucksack as the king of cheese!)

Soon after we got engaged, Mr. Rucksack and I were shopping at our local Whole Foods when I literally stopped to smell the roses. "I would totally just use these as our wedding flowers," I told Mr. Rucksack. He asked "Well, why not?" And I thought well, yeah....why not?

These tiny bouquets are a mere $9.99 and they're gorgeous.

Via Yelp 

Plus even more full sized (and cheap!) options from my last visit:

Whole Foods will work with you to create custom floral arrangements too, so that we won't just be buying up a bunch of flowers at the last minute. (Pretty sure that's what Momma Rucksack pictured when I first told her our plan.) The only downside is that because everything is sourced locally (which is really a good thing), we're extremely limited in availability. Luckily, the Milford Whole Foods Florist, Frankie, was able to help out. She made a lot of phone calls and was able to pre-order pink dahlias, pink ranunculus (my favorite) and billy balls.  The rest she'll choose from whatever comes in fresh that day. It's a little scary, but I think I'm in good hands!

From Left to Right: Dahlia via Wikimedia; Ranunculus via Whole Blossoms; and Billy Balls via Whole Blossoms

In addition to purchasing our flowers at Whole Foods, they'll also be making our cakes for our cake buffet. They have the yummiest strawberry shortcake layer cake and one of the best chocolate cakes ever - and that's coming from someone who's not a big cake fan. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't feel like I'm eating a pound of confectioner's sugar when I eat their cakes. While they won't be making our small paleo cutting cake (I'm trusting that to a gluten free baker), I totally trust them to serve up a bunch of yummy cakes for our guests.

I would honestly be happy scooping up any and all of these cakes on our wedding day. 

At $27 per cake we'll be way under the typical cake budget and our guests will have plenty of options.

There are a couple of downsides to going the grocery route though, two points that Momma Rucksack keeps pointing out every time she's given a chance.The biggest being that someone will have to pick up all of the goodies the day before the wedding. Currently I've volunteered myself and a bridesmaid, but we'll see what sorts of drama unfolds. Worst case scenario, there will be plenty of family and friends around that I can bribe. Not to mention, my car was born for this job:

Via Cookin with Mama

That's right. 3 rows of fold-down seats in that baby. We can fit all sorts of wedding goods in that trunk.

Would you consider using a grocery store for any of your wedding items?

A Bad Case of Bride Brain

Every now and then I find myself suffering from symptoms of the dreaded bride brain. Like most things in my life, I blame Pinterest. With all of those amazing options out there, it's hard not to suffer from bridal overload.

For instance, I recently saw these adorable ceramic strawberry baskets at Anthropologie and my mind immediately went to: "Must have cute Anthro inspired farm wedding! Somebody find me a farm!"

Via Anthropologie

With all of the moving pieces of wedding planning, it's hard to keep focused and not get off track once in awhile. My brain right now looks a little like this:

Don't worry, boss, there's still a little bit of brain matter left for the workday. But let me tell you, as soon as I get home and I have any semblance of downtime, I go immediately into bridal brain overload. This usually occurs during those 10pm-6am hours that I typically like to reserve for things like, I don't know....sleep. Thanks a lot, overactive brain.

Several nights in a row I actually woke up drenched in sweat with my brain screaming "Who's going to hang all the lanterns???"

Image via The Knot  / Photo by Shelly Mossman Photography

It was then and there that I decided I needed a Day of Coordinator. And it was the next day that I learned, DOC's can be expensive! I called a few wedding planners and was quoted an insane amount of $1500 for one day. Not including lantern setup because "We'll have to hire an insured decorating company for that." Um, what? Then what am I hiring you for?

Luckily, I also contacted Carisa from CR Socials. During our free consultation - where she bought a stressed out me a glass of wine - she immediately put me at ease. Carisa laughed at me when I blurted out "I was up all night thinking about the lanterns! Who's going to put up the lanterns!" She assured me she was fully capable of putting up lanterns.....and running our rehearsal, coordinating my vendors, collecting all of my DIY and purchased wedding decor, decorating, running our wedding, and cleaning up after.

"Oh yeah?" I chided, "And how much is that going to cost me?" I had heard all this before only to be burned by the cost. You can imagine the happy dance I did when I found out she fits right in our budget!

What sorts of things gave you bride brain?

The big bad "B" word

That's right: We're here to talk about the dreaded bridesmaid dress.I don't know about you, but when I think "bridesmaid dress" I immediately think "really expensive ugly freaking dress that I will never wear again." Something along the lines of this masterpiece:

Via UglyDress.com

I think I put a lot of unnecessary stress on myself over choosing bridesmaids dresses. The girls kept insisting that they would wear anything I asked them to even if it was a paper bag, but I wanted to make sure they were happy too. That meant I wanted to keep the costs low and the chance of wearing it again high.

I was really adamant that I wanted to choose dresses that cost less than $100, but it turned out that was easier said than done. While I found some options at David's Bridal, they were still a little too "bridesmaidy" for my taste.

Since Mr. Rucksack and I are getting married on the beach, I wanted the girls to be casual and comfortable. It was also important that they match the rest of our bridal party look.

Oh hello, model version of us poorly photoshopped onto a beach:

I had visions of the girls wearing preppy cotton sundresses in navy or in seersucker, but surprise surprise those classic preppy dresses cost more than a pretty penny at $250+ each.

Lula Kate: Sassy Stripes; Lula Kate: Zoe; Coren Moore: Laurie; & Thread Shiloh

Oh pretty preppy dresses, why must you tease me so?

It took hours of hair pulling and several visits to J Crew's website fawning over their $235 Navy Cotton Cady dresses, but I finally made a random move that changed the course of my bridesmaids dresses forever.

What I had failed to do in all of my visits to J Crew was to hit that magic little button that takes you to the factory website. I know. I can't believe it took me so long either - I always love the factory!

What happened next I can assure you was like a movie moment complete with happy love song soundtrack. If my laptop and I could have run in slow motion toward each other, that would have happened too. In my head, that's exactly how it went down.

When I clicked on "Dresses" I was transported to a magical land where bridesmaids dresses cost only $50 and where they looked exactly as I had imagined.

All dresses via J Crew Factory

I immediately sent an email out to a couple of the girls for advice and as soon as they gave approval, I emailed the whole crew with ordering information. The girls will be able to choose any of the above dresses or even one of the J Crew Cotton Cady dresses from the regular site. That way I'll get a somewhat uniform look, but the girls can wear what makes them the most comfortable. And hello...$50 bridesmaid dress? That is unheard of!

I'm really excited to see which dress they each pick and can't wait to see them all together!

Did you choose matching dresses for your girls or did you have a variety of styles - or even a variety of colors?

Fatherless Brides

This post is a really tricky one for me to write. I spent most of my life convincing myself (and my mom) that I was just fine without a dad, and really I was. I grew up to be a smart, funny, pretty, accomplished lady. I have a great mom and an amazing extended family. I am lucky in so many ways.

However, over the last couple of years I've grown increasingly angry. It came to a head last summer when my dad's son (my half-brother) died at the age of 22. He and I weren't close, in fact we'd only spoken through email. And yet, it killed me. There were months of grieving and being angry at my dad. It's starting to get better, but I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that I missed out on knowing my sibling.

Wedding planning, too, has put an emphasis on the fatherless part of who I am as a person. I can get over my father giving me away on my wedding day. My mom - if she isn't crying too hard - will be walking me down the aisle and I wouldn't want it any other way. The aspects that bother me are things I never could have imagined would come up.

For instance, I obviously won't be having a father-daughter dance. I'm sure nobody will miss this, but selfishly I also don't want Mr. Rucksack to dance with his mother. I feel like their dance will put emphasis on the fact that I didn't get to dance with my dad. Even if nobody else thinks that way, I will and it will put a significant damper on my mood. I feel so selfish and childish thinking that way, but the pain has grown so significant that I really don't think I can not feel this way. (We will be inviting everyone to the dance floor after our first dance and Mr. Rucksack will dance with his mom at that point while I...awkwardly hug my mom? Not sure yet.)

The other thing that upset me? I will have to leave my father's name blank on our marriage license. Since he's not on my birth certificate and isn't part of my life, he doesn't get to go on my marriage license either. For some reason, this is just heartbreaking to me. I looked online for some guidance and all I found was a book titled My Ancestor was a Bastard with helpful tips for what to do if while researching your genealogy you come across a bastard relative with no father listed. Cue the tears. So many tears. And also a little bit of laughter.

I've been really into genealogy and have gone pretty far back (the 1500's!) on both sides of my family. Thinking about how my future relatives would be stuck with one branch of my tree made me realize: I have no right to my father's genealogical history. It was devastating. Did I mention that I was also reading Game of Thrones at this point? I couldn't have felt more like Jon Snow.

It's really hard trying to deal with all of these emotional issues while planning the wedding, especially since there's no solution. I've learned that my dad doesn't want to be my dad. He'll occasionally send me an email or a postcard but I've long since given up hope that we're going to have some sort of Hollywood ending where he suddenly realizes all that he's missed. I know it's something that I just need to deal with, but it's so sad. 28 years can go by, but the hurt doesn't lessen.

Who else is dealing with wedding related daddy issues? How do you "get over it?"

Funfetti Bridesmaids Gifts

Do you remember Funfetti cupcakes?

Mmmm....sugar. Via Preppy Pink Blondie

My best friend, BM Veronica, and I were all about Funfetti in high school, baking up cupcakes for birthdays and Valentine's day and PMS and just because we were 15 year old girls craving a sugar high. Maybe's that's where my not so secret confetti obsession came in. It's this funny side of me that loves all things glitter, polka dots, and of course sprinkles (yum!).

I've been trying to buy little gifts and start DIY projects as I see them and as I have extra money available. I know that if I wait until the last minute, they will never get done! It's also a lot easier to purchase gifts $50 at a time when I see a good deal rather than trying to spend all of that money at once so close to the wedding.

When I spotted these adorable chevron clutches in our wedding colors at Pick Your Plum, I knew they'd be a perfect (and at $7.95 each, inexpensive) gift for my maids.

Via Pick Your Plum

Even though they'd be great on their own, I wanted more. More confetti! More cowbell!

Luckily, I remembered an adorable Etsy find that I though maybe....just maybe...I could DIY.

Here's the original:

Via Twinklebird's Etsy Shop

I love the confetti and the quote! But I also wanted to use my wedding colors, and not have to pay $42 a piece. So DIY I did!

$25 later, and I have 6 of these cute little boxes:

I first gathered my supplies:

1. Colorful card stock. I used shades of aqua, pink, gold and navy to represent our wedding colors and paid between 50 and 70 cents per square.
2. Ring bases. I purchased a pack of 24 for $6 from Etsy.
3. Handheld hole puncher. The office 3-hole punch left the card stock bent and morphed, but the handheld worked great.
4. Mod Podge Dimensional Magic. This stuff is so cool.
5. Ring boxes or small favor boxes. I purchased a package of blue favor boxes for $5 at Michael's.
6. Xacto Knife

Then got to work:

1. Start by punching about a million tiny confetti pieces using your handheld puncher and card stock. My plan was to punch them all during our Thursday night television line-up, but that tiny thing is surprisingly loud so I was limited to commercial punching only. My hands also got really tired by the time Parks & Rec came on.

2. Once you have a sufficient amount of confetti, begin assembling your "jewels." I used some of my scrap booking glue (the same stuff I used for our Save the Dates) to hold two pieces of confetti together. (You could probably also use a bit of the Mod Podge.) I found the best way was to dab some glue on a piece of paper and then run the confetti through it so it gets an even coat. Then I stuck it to a matching piece of confetti because I wanted them to be nice and strong. (This was also helpful for the gold confetti pieces since they had a white back that needed to be hidden)

3. Once you have your double-sided confetti pieces ready, it's time to Mod Podge. This part took a second to get used to, but I found the easiest method was to squeeze gently into a big drop and then to swirl onto the confetti until it was spread evenly across. The Mod Podge begins to dry surprisingly fast, so you have to work quickly.

4. Check for air bubbles in between applications! I set aside an area of paper specifically to drop off bubbles before moving onto the next jewel. If you don't, you'll end up with tiny bubbles in your jewel and it will look like a boob.

5. Wait. And Wait. And Wait. The jewels will be dry in 3 hours, but it's recommended to let them sit for 24 hours before handling. Below are my pretty jewels (I made extras just in case some of them didn't turn out) and an example of what happens when you don't pop an air bubble. (See boob in lower right corner.)

6. In the meantime, assemble the boxes. I created the ring inserts by cutting a square of card stock slightly larger than the lid and then cutting squares out of each corner so that I could fold and fit them into the boxes. The little slit was created using an Xacto knife.

7. When the 24 hours are up, apply your dried confetti jewel flat side down to the ring by using a thin coat of the Mod Podge. (I tried hot glue and failed miserably since it kept drying upon contact with the metal ring and the glue bump it left was too big) Press down firmly for a couple of seconds and it'll be dry shortly after.

I placed my finished rings in their boxes along with some extra confetti for fun and now they're set to go.

They're certainly not perfect, but I think they'll be a fun addition to the bags and the rest of the gifts.

Have you tackled any bridal party DIYs lately?

A Muddy Wedding?

It has not rained at our wedding venue on our wedding day for at least four years. I know this to be a fact thanks to the handy dandy Farmer's Almanac weather history. (Type A much?) Not that the information helps much since there are two ways to look at it:

1. It hasn't rained on our wedding day in years and has always been the perfect summer beach temperature of 75 degrees with a breeze. We picked such a beautiful day!

2. It hasn't rained on our wedding day in years and now we are due for a rainstorm! Good luck can't last forever! (Obsessive much?)

I've always believed that if I'm prepared with my raincoat and umbrella, the rain will stay at bay. But the second I walk out the door without it: Bam! Rainstorm while on a lunchtime walk across town, 2 miles from my office! True, right?

Since our ceremony is supposed to be outside, I'm starting to think of other JIC (just in case) options. Truth be told, a tiny bit of rain could be tolerable. Maybe even adorable:

Photos by The Photography Team

Image via Barefoot Beach Wedding / Photo by Comfort Studio

Aren't those brides (and umbrellas) the cutest? I could totally deal with a little sprinkle, especially if it meant a rainbow finale!

A downpour, though? No I do not think I could handle that.

Image via Barefoot Beach Wedding / Photo by Comfort Studio

What an awesome carefree bride! This, my friends, is nothing like me. 

So I guess the only option (besides wishing, hoping and praying that it doesn't rain) would be to move the ceremony inside as well. It certainly wouldn't be ideal,but I think we could make it work in a pinch, like this bride did:

Image via The Knot  / Photo by Shelly Mossman Photography

I love the circular petal aisle they created. And lucky for us, where they have a door as an altar, we actually have a fireplace. 

Obviously, we still don't have a clue what the weather will be like, but I wonder if I buy the umbrellas now - will the Universe stop the rain?