Let the Flamingos be your Guide

You guys, the flamingos have arrived! This probably makes little to no sense to you, so let me explain.

I had once written a post about my flamingo obsession and my desire for a flamingo themed wedding, but quickly took it down when I realized that it a) made me sound like a crazy lady and b) Mr. Rucksack would never let me have a flamingo wedding. I did leave them in my original inspiration board though, with the hopes that maybe they would go unnoticed and Mr. Rucksack would just think they were cute pink bird blobs.

Clockwise from left to right: Navy & White Chevron, xoxo Cake via Somewhere Splendid, Navy & Pink Nautical Wedding via Green Tree Photography, Ceremony Flags via Carley Rehberg, Holla via Lil Hoot, Flamingos via Joie Lala, Tablescape via Wedding Chicks, Pink Anenome Bouquet via Elizabeth Anne Designs

I went on with wedding planning, until one day I asked myself "Self, would having plastic flamingos at the wedding really make you happy?" and myself answered "Yes, they really would!" And so I decided that if spending $25 on a flock of flamingos would make me really, really ridiculously happy, then that's $25 well spent. And if other people think it's weird/tacky/gross, well it's a good thing it's not their wedding. It's mine, all mine! (Cue maniacal laughter)

My original plan was to keep the flamingos a secret from Mr. Rucksack. Since I purchased them from Home Depot I thought it would be funny to have Mr. Rucksack excitedly open a giant Home Depot Box while wondering what sorts of tooly goodness could possibly be inside, only to find plastic pink flamingos. That plan lasted a couple of hours and then happy hour drinks led to a confession. He just shook his head and laughed.

Well, a few days later I got a phone call from Home Depot that went a little something like this:

"Hi, I'm calling from Home Depot to let you know your order is in... a box of 27 inch plastic flamingos? Wait, that can't be right. Is that right?"

Cue the dancing in my office!

We hurried down to Home Depot right after work and picked up our cool new flock of birds. Mr. Rucksack was just as excited as I was:

I call this: Mr. Rucksack's Worst Home Depot Trip Ever.

My plan for the fabulous pink birds is to have them greet our guests and point them in the right direction to our ceremony and reception sites. Using my Silhouette machine, I crafted directional signs (with gold glitter of course) to hang around their necks. I think they'll do a fabulous job.

Did you make any purchases that others may think are silly, but make you really really happy?

Who gets the final say, anyway?

I guess I'm pretty lucky in having a super opinionated and involved groom. I love talking out decisions and it's great to have someone balance some of my ideas and give input of his own. While there are obviously matters he totally doesn't care about (Mr. Rucksack's verbal opinion on Out of Town Bags: "Do whatever you think is best, honey. By the way, that means I don't care.") there are certain wedding items that he has major thoughts on. Not surprisingly, these issues mostly revolve around food, booze, and music.

Remember what my bride brain looked like? Well, Mr. Rucksack's wedding brain is a little more like this:

Recently, I've been hard at work mocking up some invitation designs. Using some Pinterest inspiration, I designed a couple of different options and quickly arrived at a favorite. I uploaded them to Google Docs to share with Mr. America and eagerly awaited his response. Then after he didn't respond for an hour, I repeatedly called and Avocado'd him until he did. Patience is not my strong suit, guys.

My favorite was the lower left, Mr. Rucksack chose the lower right.

I have to tell you, I was super disappointed that we didn't agree and he actually chose my least favorite as his top contender. I know what you're thinking: Miss Rucksack, why on earth would you put up designs you didn't even like? Because I'm a dummy, that's why. And also, because even though they're not my favorites doesn't mean I'm not super proud of the outcome. Obviously I wanted praise! Followed by him picking the exact same design that I like....duh.

After spending hours of my life designing invitations, we arrived at a crossroads. I obviously didn't want to choose something he hated, but it would have been really nice to pull the "But I'm the Bride!" card out for this one. I mean, I have a vision, people!

In the end, we threw everything out and started from scratch. Luckily, the second time around we finally agreed.

Did you run into any differences in opinion with your fiance? How did you resolve it?

God Bless this Broken Road

I have a confession.

I had almost given up on love when I met Mr. Rucksack.

When we first met, I had just gotten out of a long term relationship. It was the kind of relationship where we both knew it was over long before we officially ended it, but when you've been together for so long you just sort of hold on. I won't go into all of the gory details, but it got pretty bad.

I remember one particularly sad conversation in which we laid it all out there and he told me that  the crazy can't eat can't sleep kind of love wasn't real, but that he could promise to be nice to me and take care of me. I stayed with him for another five months after that as our relationship continued to deteriorate. He began going out and drinking way too much and he stopped being so nice. It was at that point that I realized I not only was missing out on that crazy kind of love, but suddenly I was in a relationship with someone who wasn't even nice to me anymore. I blamed him at first, but now I realize how sad it must have been for him to be with someone that he knew wasn't crazy about him anymore.

Looking back, I know it would have been best for both of us if we said goodbye sooner, but I was so confused at the time. I had never seen a real relationship "work out" before. My parents aren't together and my grandfather died when my mom was in high school. My whole life was spent without any male role models and without a view into what a normal relationship looked like. It's not surprising then that everything I knew about relationships came from the movies  (where men are princes and love at first sight is abundant) and reality television shows (where women marry for money ala The Real Housewives). Seriously, what conflicting views on love. It's no wonder I was confused!

When I did leave my ex, I was determined to be single and really focus on myself. I was going to date and have fun and I wasn't going to settle for anything or anyone less than I wanted. I even (half-jokingly) made a list characteristics I wanted in my dream man. This included things like: a) tall b) from the midwest c) swimmer's build d) smart e) funny f) Cancer astrological sign g) big nose

I stuck with my plan for almost two months and let me tell you something, I was awesome at being single. Seriously, guys. I rocked it. I was waitressing at the time and had no day job, so my days basically went something like this: wake up, nurse hangover by the pool, waitress, party, sleep, repeat. Sometimes I got really wild and threw in hiking or beaching with the puppy, but really life was simple. I was healing.

Then one night I met Mr. Rucksack. I kid you not when after our first date I said "Oh crap!" because I knew my single days were over. After our second date, I actually called the few people I had been casually seeing to let them know I was now off the market. We both realized really early on that this was "it" - that crazy can't eat can't sleep kind of love that I had given up on finding. And not only were we madly in love and perfect for each other, but he had every single quality that I wanted in my dream man except for one. Any guesses on which he's missing?

Photo by Abigail Scott

Yep, his nose is much too normal sized. Although I now think that's probably in the best interest of our future babies.

I know how lucky we are and that not everybody finds this kind of love. Shortly after we met, Mr. Rucksack admitted to me that he never thought he would find love either and had pretty much committed himself to being a lifelong bachelor. I think that part of the reason we are so thankful is because we really weren't sure if it was going to happen for us.

You know how people always tell you that really annoying and vague theory of "When you know, you just know."? Well, that's exactly how it was for us. One day we just said "Oh....I get it now!" and haven't looked back since.

What circumstances led you to your fiance? Did you just know?

More Sake, More Philosophy

I'm pretty shocked at how well I've handled this whole wedding thing so far. Sure there have been some roadblocks and some difficult catering decisions. And we still have a lot that can be done. I may have had a couple of bridezilla moments about shoes choices and other minor things, but for the most part our decisions were relatively low key. I guess I just know that when it comes down to it, nobody will care about what the flowers looked like and how many favors we had or if the napkins perfectly matched our paper lanterns. And in the end, I don't really care either.

I have been doing a whole lot of thinking about this marriage thing though, which really if you're going to freak out about something wedding related is the right thing to freak about. I mean, to really simplify it the wedding day is just a giant celebration. It's the marriage that's kind of a really big freaking deal.

I pondered this out loud the other night after an absurd amount of sake courtesy of New Haven's most infamous hibachi restaurant.

To quote the hibachi chef: "More sake, more happy!" Indeed.

"You know, getting married really makes you think about your own mortality," I told Mr. Rucksack on our way home. I get really philosophical when I drink.
I tried to explain further, but probably made it worse. It was something along the lines of when you're just dating, you can pretend you're young and carefree. Time doesn't matter when you're in your early twenties and partying. You have all the time in the world. But now we're getting married and suddenly I feel older. Sometimes I forget that I'm 29 because I swear to you I feel like I'm still 21 and have said on more than one occasion "I can't think about that - I'm just a kid!" No sweetie, you're just in denial.

Most of the time I'm in my happy little bridal daze, but then it'll suddenly occur to me that I'm going to be thirty (someday!) and I'm getting married and I'm going to have babies and before I know it I'll be a mother (or grandmother!) asking "Where did the time go?" It's already going by so fast.

Of course, none of that means that I don't want to marry Mr. Rucksack. I am so ridiculously lucky to have found him and can't wait to be his wife. I just sometimes get wistful and wish I could redo the past 10 years again. Because seriously, who wouldn't want to relive college again?

Oh college, how I miss double fisting vodka crans all night and still being able to wake up the next morning to go to class.

But that's just me being sentimental. Because frankly, there were a lot of low points in those ten years that I for sure would not want to go back to. So, since time doesn't stop for anyone we're moving forward. And you know, I really do love our little life and wouldn't trade it for the world. And seriously, this face? Who wouldn't want to wake up to this face for everyday forever?

Did you experience similar realizations as you neared your wedding?

Our Peg People Cake Topper

One of the things I am most excited about is our cake buffet. Although I'm not a big fan of eating cake, I just love the idea of it. It's kind of like eggnog in December. Every year I get wildly excited when I see eggnog invade the grocery store shelves and every year I finish about half a cup before declaring "Over it!" and moving on to another holiday novelty.

Still, cakes are just so pretty and a cake buffet is my dream. It's both beautiful and - since we have friends varying across a spectrum of dietary requests (paleo, vegan, chocolate, no chocolate) - it's practical too.

A beautiful assortment of sweets via Sweet Bloom Cakes

So many options via The Sweetest Occassion / Photo by Emilie Inc

I knew I wanted each cake to have a topper to make them special and originally thought about collecting an assortment of vintage toppers. In the end, I decided that would be a lot of work and wouldn't be as put together looking as I'd like. So instead, I'll be creating bunting for each cake.

Via The Sweetest Occassion

But what about our special gluten-free paleo cake? Of course, that needs something extra special. Per usual, I fell in love with a cake topper on Etsy. But at $150 it was out of our price range.

Via Lollipop Workshop

What's a girl to do?

Admittedly terrified, I decided to craft it myself. Thanks to some crafty girls ahead of me like Mrs. Armadillo and Mrs. Splatterpaint I gathered my supplies and gave it a whirl.

I was most terrified of the painting part, but it actually went pretty well! The clothes were not easy though. In the end, I think they're fine, but if I look for too long I get the urge to undo everything.

Peg people in the nude!

All dolled up. I still need to figure out a way to make a bouquet.

What's your DIY inspiration - are you an Etsy idea thief like me?

A picture's worth a thousand words, and a photographer costs way more

Like most things I've taken on in the wedding planning process, I attacked the photography decision with a type A kind of fervor that can only be described as insane, or spectacular if you happen to be just as crazy as I am.

You see, I love the decision process and the massive Excel spreadsheets that go along with making an informed decision. It's probably why I'm a business analyst. I can spreadsheet and analyze all day long. So for me, finding a great photographer wasn't just about finding some pretty images. It was about comparing styles, prices, emotion, and reviews in a systematic way.

I started with a very specific methodology and requirements that were narrowed down as I dove into my research.

Requirements:
1. Bright, crisp images. The whole vintage Instagrammy look is really popular right now and I knew that was not for me. I want bright, not overly exposed, images.

2. Real looking photos. On the other end of the spectrum I don't like photos that are overly processed to be too bright or fake looking. Sky should be sky colored, not neon "look at me, I'm the sky!" blue.

3. That "it" factor feeling. This was one of those intangible requirements: the "I'll know it when I see it" feeling. Basically, if a photo got me to cry, get goosebumps, or to audibly say "wow" then it was a winner.

4. Low cost. Like most items on our wedding list, we had a tight budget for photography too. The cost requirement for us was under $2500.

Methodology:
Here's where I got weird with it. Most likely, the sensible place to start would have been with cost. However, I didn't want a photographer's cost to affect my thoughts about their quality. (High cost? They must be amazing! Low cost? What's wrong with them?)

So I started by judging the books purely by their covers and came up with a lovely and lengthy list of 28 photographers that I had ranked from 4-5 on my 1-5 point scale. Once I had my list, I looked up the prices or contacted the photographers for their price quotes. This was a heartbreaking process since I learned that a few of my top contenders were in the $5-7,000 range.

 Melani Lust made me cry twice: Once when I first saw her awesome wow factor photos, and again when she gave me her price list. Seriously, you guys:

Photos by Melani Lust

These couples look like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine. That's the look what I want.

Once I finally had my list narrowed down to the 10 photographers that were both in my price range and met all of my other requirements, I looked into availability. Now, I was really naive in thinking that 10 months was plenty enough time to book a photographer. Turns out they book up fast! Thankfully, I was still left with a nice little list of 5 photographers.

Sometimes you gotta throw it all away:
Wasn't expecting this subtitle from my super controlled methods, were you? Well, luckily fate stepped in here when one of my coworkers began to focus more on her photography career. "Say what now?" As she showed me more and more of her work, I began to become convinced that she should be our photographer. She loved all of the same photographers that I did (and even took classes with one of my favorites!), totally understood the style I wanted, and produced these amazing "Oh wow!" inspired photos.

Mutual friends of Abbey's and mine who clearly should be fashion models. Engagement photos by, of course, Abigail Scott

We booked her for our engagement photos partially for fun and partially as a test run for our wedding day. The results speak for themselves:

 

 

Photos by Abigail Scott

Shortly after receiving our images we signed a contract with Abbey! She's not only amazing to work with, but she fit all of our requirements and with a lovely "friendor" discount, she even comes in significantly under budget for us! Hell freaking yeah.

So now that I picked a photographer who was not at all in my carefully orchestrated plans, do I feel like I did all of that work for nothing? Not at all! I definitely learned a lot through that process, including what I wanted and what I didn't want in a photographer. Had I not done all of that research, I don't know if I would quite as positive about putting my trust in Abbey. Plus, I now have some amazing ideas for "must have shots."


How did you pick your photographer?

Sugar, Oh Honey Honey, We're going on a Honeymoon!

What does it say about us that we booked our honeymoon before we even booked our caterer?

I'll tell you: It means we were sick of looking at this:

If you're from or you have friends in the Northeast, then you probably got really sick of seeing all of those "OMG it's snowing again!" Facebook posts. Trust me, so were we.

Which is why we spent a lot of our time looking at beautiful far away lands where the people were warm and tan and happy.

Mr. Rucksack and I knew that we wanted to go overseas where we could have a mix of sightseeing and nothing-doing. Originally, we considered France, but the more we thought about it the more I knew I would not be able to relax in France. I would want to see everything! In just a couple of days of planning our ultimate French honeymoon I had a jam packed itinerary that left little room for relaxation. Mr. Rucksack suggested Croatia and the more we read the more we loved it.

The Knot even named Croatia as one of the top budget honeymoon destinations.

Image via The Knot

We fell in love with the mixture of old world charm and coastal vacation paradise. But I also read that traveling can be tricky in the area without a rental car, and I did not want to have to worry about navigating a foreign country.

We started looking at cruises, but realized that typical cruising just didn't feel like us. The last thing I wanted was to be on a giant boat with thousands of people on our honeymoon. While I know lots of people that love cruising, I wanted something more intimate.

On a whim I visited JetSetter - Gilt Groupe's travel site. I love all of those amazing sample sale sites, and Gilt is my favorite. I'd heard good things about JetSetter and Mr. America's coworker even booked her honeymoon through their personal travel services. To my surprise, right there on the front page was a flash sale for a small 49 person sailboat cruise through Greece, Croatia, Albania & Montenegro!

We did a little research and checked with my travel expert uncle, then quickly booked after drinking a bottle of wine on Valentine's day. I cannot wait to spend a week exploring on this baby:

Mountains, ocean and castles all in one place? Paradise, I tell you! 

Above photos via JetSetter

My amazing aunt & uncle are even gifting us our flight so that our whole vacation is now paid for! Since my uncle used his super duper traveler miles, flight times out of the tiny island of Corfu were a little limited which means we'll have to spend a few extra days in Corfu, Greece when we return from our cruise. Sucks to be us, right?

Photos via Marabella Beach Hotel

So now I'm sitting in my little office with my heater blasting on high just pretending this is my real view!

Did you start planning your honeymoon to combat the winter blues?