Expectations vs. Reality

The wedding may be over, but that doesn't mean I'm finished here quite yet!

My tablescapes post featuring my Type A Photoshop skills was surprisingly and flatteringly popular, so I thought it would be fun to take a look at how the actual wedding day outcomes stacked up against my visions.

Truth be told, I was actually pretty disappointed in parts of the set-up. There were a lot of factors that led to things being not quite as I had hoped. Some had to do with weather, some with our caterer, and many were due to our Day of Coordinator. Sadly, at the 3 month post-wedding mark, I still get peeved when I think about the issues. You may remember that I tossed aside quite a few projects for the sake of my sanity, so the ones that I did spend time on were important to me. To see that they were handled poorly, or not handled at all makes me sad. If I had known that the signs I painstakingly designed and cut would never be put up, that the escort straws I spent forever on would be useless, or that the hundreds of shells I collected from a local beach would stay in a box inside the venue - well, frankly I just wouldn't have bothered.

I owe a million thank-you’s to my family, especially my mom, aunts and cousins who saved the day when they arrived at the venue an hour before the wedding to find that nothing was set up yet. They moved tables, set up chairs, put out décor and managed the event staff. My poor Auntie America was working right up until the start of the ceremony. She loves me.

I'm really worried about coming off as ungrateful or whiney in these. I hope you guys know that's not how this is intended. The truth is, I was/am pretty disappointed with how some of my visions turned out. I planned a lot. I had ideas. I paid a lot of money to make sure that they were carried out in a certain way. At the end of the day, our wedding was amazing. I married my best friend surrounded by the people that we love most. And we threw one hell of a party.

So my reason for writing these isn't just to complain. (Of course, it's nice to get some things off of my chest!) It's also to show you planning bees out there that things don't always work out the way you planned. Sometimes things even turn out disastrously. (I'm looking at you, escort cards.) You may spend hours of your life devoted to a craft that nobody will ever see. It will suck and you may want to cry or yell at your coordinator/caterer/anybody who is willing to listen. But then your new husband will say "Yes, it sucks. But what do we always say?" and you will say "Eff it" and move on. And the rest of the night will be incredible, regardless of how un-Pinteresty your tables ended up.

Let's start off with the ceremony:

Expectation:

 Reality:

This one came pretty darn close to my vision, however, I can't for the life of me understand why there were just two rows of seats. A couple of guests said that they couldn't hear anything because of it and people ended up standing in the back just because it was a better place to see and hear. I was also a little disappointed that my reserved signs didn't end up on the chairs because the DOC forgot to bring tape. Not the end of the world, so overall I was happy with the outcome.

Next up, we'll look at the "Relief Station."

Expectation:

Reality:

This is the only photo I have of the Relief Station and from what I can tell, it looks pretty great. Since we got married on the beach, I wanted to provide our guests with items to make them comfortable at the ceremony. The Relief Station had bottled water, sunscreen & bug spray, cold lemon scented washcloths, fans, and the biggest hit of all: sunglasses!

Right after the ceremony, the guests hit up the Escort Card Table to grab some champagne and find their seats.

Expectation:

Reality:
I'm actually happy we don't have a real photo of this because it was a total disaster, but here's a mock-up of how it turned out:

The first thing I noticed after I kissed my husband and walked back up the aisle was the Escort Card Table. It took everything in me not to go and tackle our caterers for bringing the wrong glasses. Not only that, but our DOC decided to de-alphabtize all of the straws that we had separated for set-up ease and had thrown them all into one giant bucket. Not only was there chaos with getting people seated (I actually had guests coming to find me during pictures and in the back room while I was hiding out waiting to be announced because nobody knew where to go), but I spent hours of my life making those straws. If I had known it wasn't going to happen I would have done something simpler.

Card Table & Guest "Book"

Expectation:

Reality:

This table turned out pretty well! And our DJ did a great job of making sure everyone signed our guest print. (He was the best)

The Bar

Expectation:

Reality:

Looks pretty good, right? The bar was obviously a huge hit and bartenders were the greatest. Unfortunately, the menu that I created doesn't at all match what was provided. Annoying for many reasons including: 1) We were pretty specific in the drinks that we wanted, 2) our venue did not allow glass and I specifically said canned beer only, 3) Again, I feel like I wasted my time creating a menu that was completely useless. 4) We also agreed to have a case of cider hidden for me since it's one of the only things I can drink. That was extremely disappointing.

There's more to come in the next installment of Expectations vs. Reality!

In the meantime, how did your expectations match your outcomes?

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)

Previously on the Rucksack Recaps:

• I have ALL the feelings
• I admit that wedding planning kind of sucks
• We run a million errands
• We practice how it’s gonna go down
• We have a big fat Italian rehearsal dinner
• A little rain won’t get me down!
• The girls get pretty
• The guys do whatever guys do
• I hang out in the hotel bathroom and make a bunch of bouquets
• I get my bride on!
• We exchange kisses and gifts during our first look
• I’m a runaway bride
• The bridal party processes and the ring bearer gets distracted
• I take my final steps as a single lady (and get stuck on a rose bush along the way!)
• We kick off the ceremony with some sweet words from The Princess Bride
• We share our love story and get our hands blessed
• We do!
• We miss cocktail hour for the sake of family photos
• We get everybody to join our first dance
• We frolic on the beach at sunset
• We have a beach-side ’90s dance party
• We eat cake and auction off our single friends
• We end our reception with a romantic private dance
• We brave fire for a sparkler exit 
• We pack up all the little details

I Carry Your Heart: Little Details

After we had our grand sparkler exit, Mr. Rucksack and I turned right back around and went back into the venue to help with clean up. Our original plan was to leave our car with our DOC so that she could pack everything up and then we'd pick it up from the venue the next day, but we made a snap decision at the end of the night to pack the car ourselves and take it to the after party instead of taking a cab.

Because our DOC had so many issues with set-up, we didn't completely trust that she would be able to finish clean-up alone. Many of my family members stayed to help and we couldn't just peace out and let them do all of the work. Plus, we were completely sober at the end of the night, so taking a cab seemed silly. Truth be told, it was kind of fun breaking down lanterns while gabbing with my cousins at the end of the night.

Since I don't have any pictures of the breakdown process or our little after party at a local bar, I think this is the perfect time to discuss all of the little details that we packed up instead.

Pro-Pics of our Watercolor Save the Dates. I have totally given up on anonymity.

My beloved self-designed lobster invitations and envelope.

Welcoming Flamingos to guide the guests

Hand picked shell place cards for the head table.

Paper fans for a warm outdoor ceremony

Sunglasses favors for the ceremony. They were a huge hit!

My something borrowed: a locket with pictures of my deceased grandparents, soon to be passed on to my cousin at her wedding in May!

Practical favors. And yes, my wittiness cracks me up.

 

My handmade cake topper. Sadly Mr. Rucksack's head went missing after our cake cutting.

We didn't pack these guys up, but I love that they made an appearance. Also, one of these bad boys pooped on my mom during the ceremony.

Flowers getting ready to go home!

With the last of the items packed between our car and my mom's car, our little wedding was officially over. We watched as the caterers left and the venue's crew closed the doors. It was kind of surreal being the last people there and seeing everything broken down and packed away. In a way it was fitting and seemed to close the chapter of the wedding for us.

Did you have to break down your wedding at the end of the night?

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)

Previously on the Rucksack Recaps:

• I have ALL the feelings
• I admit that wedding planning kind of sucks
• We run a million errands
• We practice how it’s gonna go down
• We have a big fat Italian rehearsal dinner
• A little rain won’t get me down!
• The girls get pretty
• The guys do whatever guys do
• I hang out in the hotel bathroom and make a bunch of bouquets
• I get my bride on!
• We exchange kisses and gifts during our first look
• I’m a runaway bride
• The bridal party processes and the ring bearer gets distracted
• I take my final steps as a single lady (and get stuck on a rose bush along the way!)
• We kick off the ceremony with some sweet words from The Princess Bride
• We share our love story and get our hands blessed
• We do!
• We miss cocktail hour for the sake of family photos
• We get everybody to join our first dance
• We frolic on the beach at sunset
• We have a beach-side ’90s dance party
• We eat cake and auction off our single friends
• We end our reception with a romantic private dance 
• We brave fire for a sparkler exit

I Carry Your Heart: Goodnight, Sweethearts

While Mr. Rucksack and I were sharing a private moment on the dance floor with Michael Buble, our remaining guests were awaiting our arrival outside with beer and sparklers in hand. (I think you can see where this is going, yes?)

Despite my irrational fears of actually holding a sparkler, I knew that it simply had to happen. I mean, what's a little fire when you have the potential to end up with some gorgeous glittery photos, am I right?

And so it was settled. There would be fire and I would brave it!

 

As it turns out, there wasn't much fire to brave. I should have remembered Mrs. Unicycle's post about drunk guests and sparklers because she too had great visions. I also should have known better than to use the cheap 4th of July sparklers from Target. Why didn't I have the foresight to buy the extra long ones online?

 

So instead of being Pinterest perfect, our photos are a tad more real. Yes, people seem a little distracted and clumped and yep our friends are chugging beer in the background. 

But Mr. Rucksack and I were clueless at the time. All we knew was that we were married and happy and there were shiny firey objects being passed to us.

Plus I've learned that with the magic of Photoshop, anything is possible.

From a little cropping:

Bye Bye Beer Chuggers!

To borrowing some other brides' sparklers:

Hello 3 foot sparklers!

Ok, so maybe the last one is too big of a stretch, but I think the other adds just enough extra sparkle without setting off the liar liar pants on fire alarm.

I'd still do the sparkler exit again in a heartbeat, but take my advice planning bees and buy the long sparklers! I'd also have each guest hold two sparklers: both to maximize the sparkle effect and to minimize the beer drinking. Lastly, tell your coordinator or photographer to wrangle the guests and keep them focused like they do with small children sitting for Sears portraits.

Are you having a special post-reception send-off? Sparkler brides, any other advice for picture perfect sparkler exits?

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)

Previously on the Rucksack Recaps:

• I have ALL the feelings
• I admit that wedding planning kind of sucks
• We run a million errands
• We practice how it’s gonna go down
• We have a big fat Italian rehearsal dinner
• A little rain won’t get me down!
• The girls get pretty
• The guys do whatever guys do
• I hang out in the hotel bathroom and make a bunch of bouquets
• I get my bride on!
• We exchange kisses and gifts during our first look
• I’m a runaway bride
• The bridal party processes and the ring bearer gets distracted
• I take my final steps as a single lady (and get stuck on a rose bush along the way!)
• We kick off the ceremony with some sweet words from The Princess Bride
• We share our love story and get our hands blessed
• We do!
• We miss cocktail hour for the sake of family photos
• We get everybody to join our first dance
• We frolic on the beach at sunset
• We have a beach-side ’90s dance party
• We eat cake and auction off our single friends
• We end our reception with a romantic private dance

I Carry Your Heart: A Private Dance with my Husband

After a very exciting day filled with love, joy and special moments, the time finally came for our little wedding to come to an end.

I'll admit that our private last dance was blatantly stolen from Mrs. Coach.  I filed that idea straight into my must have wedding moments as soon as I read her recap. And hive, let me tell you: I am so glad I did. Those last five minutes with my husband count as some of my best memories of the entire night.

After all of our guests were corralled to the front of the venue for our sparkler send-off, our DJ played one of our favorite songs. 

"The More I See You", sung by Micheal Buble, was one of the first songs Mr. Rucksack and I danced to. Before we had said "I love you," before we had even hit the one month mark, Mr. Rucksack and I got into a big argument. (Something about him panicking because he realized he had feelings for me. Feelings are scary.) When we made up the next evening, Mr. Rucksack officially won me over by spinning me around his living room to this song. It seemed fitting for us to end our wedding evening with something so meaningful.

I vividly remember dancing and thinking "Wow we are such great dancers when nobody's watching us." Mr. Rucksack was dipping and twirling me and we were at what I thought was our A game. I was convinced that the photos would depict us as dancing superstars. Instead, we look like sweaty tired amateurs. So I'll chalk up my high confidence levels to the champagne. I still absolutely adore these pictures and the memories they bring back.

It feels great to be Mr. Rucksack's wife.

 

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)

Previously on the Rucksack Recaps:

• I have ALL the feelings
• I admit that wedding planning kind of sucks
• We run a million errands
• We practice how it’s gonna go down
• We have a big fat Italian rehearsal dinner
• A little rain won’t get me down!
• The girls get pretty
• The guys do whatever guys do
• I hang out in the hotel bathroom and make a bunch of bouquets
• I get my bride on!
• We exchange kisses and gifts during our first look
• I’m a runaway bride
• The bridal party processes and the ring bearer gets distracted
• I take my final steps as a single lady (and get stuck on a rose bush along the way!)
• We kick off the ceremony with some sweet words from The Princess Bride
• We share our love story and get our hands blessed
• We do!
• We miss cocktail hour for the sake of family photos
• We get everybody to join our first dance
• We frolic on the beach at sunset
• We have a beach-side ’90s dance party
• We eat cake and auction off our single friends

I Carry Your Heart: Getting the Wedding Cliches Out of the Way

Back in the planning days, I talked about how Mr. Rucksack and I would be incorporating some wedding cliches into our reception. I knew that I definitely wanted to toss my bouquet to my single lady friends, wear a really great Patriots themed garter, and feed each other some yummy Paleo cake.

However, when it came down to planning our timeline I made an executive decision: Get it all over with as fast as possible. Since I was so excited about our little dance party, I really didn't want to interrupt it and take people off the dance floor for long. So I decided that we would pause the party for a brief 20 minute stint that would allow people to take a cake break and maybe get lucky and catch a bouquet.

At 8:30, we stopped the dancing and Mr. Rucksack and I endured the most awkward cake cutting I have ever been a part of. Of course, this also the only cake cutting we've ever been a part of, so I can't really claim that I'm an expert on non-awkward cake cutting. No matter, I think it's pretty clear that we had no idea what to do here. I've seen hundreds of photos of couples cutting cakes together and posing nicely for the camera, but for some reason that all went out the window when we got in front of our cake. I think all I was focusing on was telepathically letting Mr. Rucksack know he'd be a dead man if he smeared cake on my face.

You'd think cutting a piece of pre-cut cake would be easy...

We both decided maybe Mr. R could just get in there and tackle it.

While I may have an evil look in my eyes, I did refrain from shoving cake in my new hubby's face

Luckily, Mr. R did the same

After everyone had managed to get their sugar rush, we invited  forced the single ladies onto the dance floor for the bouquet toss. I was irrationally excited about this and I have to tell you, I'm  convinced that my song choice of "Wannabee" by the Spice Girls was pretty darn perfect.

Remember when I joked about throwing my bouquet kettlebell style? Well, it turns out Crossfit is ingrained in me and my ridiculous stance was a kettlebell look-alike accident! 

There was some tough competition out there in single lady land. I later learned that the winner of the toss had made sure everyone out there knew that bouquet was destined to be hers and that she was going to fight for it!

Of course, she didn't have much fighting to do because it was thrown right her way!

So who is this lucky girl that I wanted so badly to win? That would be my lovely half-sister! I've mentioned that I don't have a relationship with my father, but what I failed to mention was that I have a wonderful new relationship with my half-sister. We've only known each other for a couple of years, but she is my family and I just love her. I felt so lucky that she was able to travel to be at our wedding.


Once I was free of my bouquet it was time for me to lose that garter! Mr. Rucksack's theme song in college was 50 Cent's "PIMP" so I thought it would be an appropriate surprise for the garter toss.

Oh hi. This is awkward. At least nobody's paying much attention...

After I was down a garter, some super excited guys got to see who would be the next to lose their bachelor status!!!

Nope. Not excited. Not even a little. Not even when a cat is being thrown at them. (Thanks for the idea, Weddingbee!)

 Luckily, one man stepped forward and caught the garter! (Actually, he picked it up off the floor after all of the other men went running. Same thing, right?)

And it's no other than Sissy's boyfriend! Could I be a happier half-sister? No I could not!

While this post may seem a million hours long, in reality I think we spent 20 minutes tops cutting cake and embarassing our single friends! Then it was back to the dance floor to complete our reception dance party before we made our grand exit.

So tell me, am I the only one who forgot how to cut a cake under pressure?

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)

Previously on the Rucksack Recaps:

• I have ALL the feelings
• I admit that wedding planning kind of sucks
• We run a million errands
• We practice how it’s gonna go down
• We have a big fat Italian rehearsal dinner
• A little rain won’t get me down!
• The girls get pretty
• The guys do whatever guys do
• I hang out in the hotel bathroom and make a bunch of bouquets
• I get my bride on!
• We exchange kisses and gifts during our first look
• I’m a runaway bride
• The bridal party processes and the ring bearer gets distracted
• I take my final steps as a single lady (and get stuck on a rose bush along the way!)
• We kick off the ceremony with some sweet words from The Princess Bride
• We share our love story and get our hands blessed
• We do!
• We miss cocktail hour for the sake of family photos
• We get everybody to join our first dance
• We frolic on the beach at sunset
• We have a beach-side 90's dance party