Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Vendor Reviews: The Worst of the Wedding

Well the moment that I've dreaded has arrived: it's time to review our Day of Coordinator that I've only hinted about. I debated if and how to I should this, and then I read Mrs. Sword's cathartic review of her photographer. In addition to her great post, what also struck a chord with me was Sarah Cool's comment:

This is such a tough situation, but I wish we (as brides) would feel more comfortable leaving negative reviews for bad experiences. It would help out other brides SO MUCH. But personally, I just don’t want to 1) be uncomfortable, 2) open myself up to legal issues, and 3) BE UNCOMFORTABLE. You know? 

She is so right. As uncomfortable as it is to leave a negative review, I also don't want another bride to go through what I went through with my DOC. And so, here is my honest review, negativity and all:


Day of Coordinator: CRSocials
D-
I'm not really aggravated here. This is just how I dance. (Mr. Rucksack is rightfully just as frightened.)
It' probably comes as no surprise that hiring Carisa is my biggest regret of the wedding. Like my other reviews, I'll try to keep this short and to the point and won't be writing a laundry list of grievances here. I will, however, outline some of the biggest problems we experienced.

1) She lacked assertiveness: I started having doubts at our rehearsal when Carisa asked what she should do if people were sitting on the beach when she arrived for set-up. When I told her that she could nicely explain that she was setting up for a wedding and ask them to move a few feet (you know, because people are generally understanding about that sort of thing), she panicked and said she didn't feel comfortable doing that. Fast forward to the next day and she actually made my aunt do it for her because she was too nervous. This also applied to teenaged party crashers who showed up for the reception and whom she ignored.

2) She was ill-prepared: When at our one venue walk though  3 months prior, Carisa divulged that she would be 8 months pregnant at our wedding. I was a little nervous (after all the sole reason I hired someone was to climb a tall ladder and hang lanterns) but she assured me she would bring extra help with her, including her husband, to make sure everything was set up properly. But alas, on the day of the wedding there was no extra help - just Carisa and her usual assistant which meant that while Carisa sat down and rested, her assistant tried to do most of the work herself and failed. Luckily, my family showed up early and were able to move tables, get decor out, and direct the rest of the event staff. I'm extremely grateful, but they obviously couldn't do it all so a lot of things were missing. Most importantly, I didn't want my family to have to do anything expect show up and enjoy the day. I hate that they had to spend their hours before the ceremony (and after the reception) working and sweating.
I was also very surprised that Carisa didn't have anything like a DOC toolkit for the day. Every bridal show I've ever seen portrays these super prepared coordinators with a handbag full of goodies. Maybe that's expecting too much (I know television is far from reality), but my DOC didn't even bring tape so that none of my signs ended up being properly placed or placed out at all.

Personal Photo
3) It seemed like she had never done this before: So far, that has been the most frequent comment from our guests along with "You didn't pay her, right?" Sadly, this was noticed by most if not all of our guests, and I have to admit that's a little embarrassing. Especially since we did pay her. Quite a bit actually. You all know that I'm a planner and a lister, so of course I labeled each and every box  top with a list of all items contained, where they should be set up and a picture of how to set everything up. So what did Carisa do as soon as she arrived at the venue? Removed all of the box tops and set them aside, naturally, so that she couldn't find anything and had to keep calling me to ask where certain items were.

4) She was unprofessional: With all of the things that went wrong, this is the only one that I truly cannot understand. Minutes before the ceremony (Literally as I was putting my veil on) Carisa came back to the room that I was waiting in to complain about the set-up process and to tell me that she was scared my mom was mad at her. I just remember looking at her with shock and wondering why on earth she would think that was an acceptable thing to do as I was about to walk down the aisle. Luckily, my bridesmaids thought the same thing and told her how inappropriate that was and escorted her out. For the rest of the night they ran interference and refused to let her talk to me. I later found out that she also complained to Mr. Rucksack and some of the guests before my mom found out and put an end to it. (Momma Rucksack might be a pushy broad, but I am so thankful for that.)

Aunts to the Rescue! (Photo by Cousin Em)
After the wedding, Mrs. Mongoose and I chatted and she asked me what I would have done in retrospect - would I spend more money on a better DOC or would I just go without? I can honestly say that I just wish we had gone without. A DOC really wasn't in our budget and I stretched myself pretty thin to make it happen. If I could do it all over again, I would "hire" a couple of friends to do the work for a hundred bucks each and the promise of free food and alcohol. I could have made a point to head over earlier to make sure everything was okay and I could have prepared my family for doing some of the set-up and breakdown. Instead, I just feel like I spent all of this money just to have extra stress.

I later read through some of her negative reviews on WeddingWire and I can unfortunately see a lot of similarities in the service she provided on the day of our wedding. I just wish that I had paid more attention to them before the wedding. So that's my biggest advice for you planning bees - read all of the reviews, the good and the bad. While not everybody is perfect, there may be some glaring warning signs in there which you can use to help make a decision or that you can ask your potential vendor about.

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)
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Vendor Reviews: The Rest of the Wedding

After reviewing the best of the wedding vendors, it's time to review the rest! These vendors were mostly great, but those A+ vendors really ruined the bell curve for everyone and I had to split the post somehow.

Caterer: Forks &Fingers
B+
I think it’s important to note that our guests would most likely give Forks & Fingers an A based on presentation and taste, while I would prefer to give them a B based on issues the guests never knew about. People raved about how amazing everything the food was, and we agreed. Presentation was fine, the bar was great and everyone loved the two crazy bartenders. All in all it was a great show. However, there were some things that went wrong that I’m still a little upset about such as them bringing the wrong champagne glasses and messing up our escort cards, missing appetizers that should have been included, different presentation style than what we had discussed, and bar offerings that weren't at all what we had agreed on. Again, since these are things that only my family and I noticed, it wasn’t the end of the world, but it was still pretty annoying. I would recommend them, but with the caveat that you need to get every detail in writing and double check everything.

Bridesmaid’s Dresses: J. Crew Factory
B+

My girls looked absolutely incredible in their dresses. While we didn’t get the whole shopping experience (I like to think I spared them) they spent less than $50 per dress and will hopefully even get to wear them again. The J Crew Factory website is always easy to shop through and I would definitely recommend looking there for casual bridesmaid’s dresses. The only thing to keep in mind is that they sell out fast so if you see something, you need to buy it right away.  The three styles of dresses I chose were sold out in about 3 weeks, so this method of shopping is not for the faint of heart!

Cake Buffet Cakes: Whole Foods, Milford
B
I didn’t try any of the cakes from Whole Foods because of the gluten issue, so I’m just going off of Momma Rucksack’s opinion here. She said the strawberry shortcake was good, but wasn’t a fan of the chocolate cake. For what it’s worth, I’ve always liked Whole Foods cakes because they’re not super sweet and artificial and my mom tends to like things that are…well, more sugary. So unfortunately I can’t tell you if this was just a taste issue or what. What I can tell you is that our chocolate cakes were decorated exactly as we asked and the strawberry cakes weren’t at all what we wanted. I was fine with them anyway, so we’ll call them good. Plus for $26 per cake I can’t really complain.

Justice of the Peace: Mitchell Cohan
B

We had a lot of trouble finding an officiant for our wedding, partly because of availability and partly because of our lack of funds. (That shiz can be expensive!) We found Mitchell through the town of Madison’s website, met with him, and hired him. He’s a super nice guy and we’re really happy we found him, although the ceremony did get flubbed in a couple of spots. Mr. Rucksack says he flubbed in the perfect spots though and that it turned out beautifully.

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)

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Monday, December 9, 2013

Vendor Reviews: The Best of the Wedding

I've been reading Weddingbee for a long time. And when I say long I don't just mean pre-engagement. I'm talking 7 years long! Through many a failed relationship, Weddingbee was right there forming a wedding obsessed girl who would later become Mrs. Rucksack. So obviously, after a 7+ year relationship with Weddingbee, I have come to develop favorite types of posts. Among my favorites are DIY tutorials, wedding details posts, and vendor reviews. I'm a details oriented girl so I like to know how things work and I like hearing about outcomes - the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

That's why I'm so excited to share our reviews with you. We have a little bit of each category - mostly good - and I'm so happy to fill you in on the vendors that made our wedding possible. I've tried to keep these short and sweet, but please PM me if you'd like additional details on any of our vendors!

DJ: Matt Ferrera from DJ International
A++



Hiring Matt was by far the best wedding decision we made. We met him at the CT Bridal Expo and as soon as he walked up and introduced himself, we were sold. I am so glad we trusted our instincts because our guests have been raving about the music and Matt himself for months now. He made sure to play my whole lengthy “must play” list and avoided all of my “no-plays” all while making sure to add in some crowd pleasers – and the transitions were seamless. He kept that party going the whole night long without being in your face like some DJs I've encountered. Even my critic of an uncle who does not like things like dancing and DJs and fun was talking this kid up like he was some kind of music god. That’s how great Matt is. I would recommend him to everybody I know. (And if you do use him, please invite me to your wedding because it’s sure to be fun!)


Photographer: Abigail Scott Photography
A+


Abbey was like this super talented photography angel that showed up exactly when I needed her. We worked together at a restaurant and she recently quit to work on her photography full-time. She’s already blowing up with business because she is seriously amazing. One of her best attributes (aside from her photos which speak for themselves) is that I had no idea she was around at all. Aside from our portraits and the times that I dragged her over to take a specific photo, I honestly don’t even remember seeing her. Which is kind of incredible considering the photos make it look like she was up in my face all night long. I also want to point out that Abbey worked at White Dress by the Shore, my bridal salon, for 3 years. (She actually recommended them). This meant that I had an extra set of hands and expert knowledge to help get me dressed, bustle my dress, and remove and insert my veil. It was an awesome unexpected two-for.



Hair & Make-Up: Pretty Up!
A+

Tricia was the first person I hired for my wedding. I dated her brother in college and was a bridesmaid for her wedding, so when she offered to do my hair and make-up I excitedly took her up on it. Not only did she and Melissa make us look gorgeous, but they were also fun to work with and worked fast!  I have the attention span of a gnat sometimes, so the fact that my hair & make-up were perfect in barely any time at all is a huge bonus. Plus, Tricia even gave my girls the lipstick and liner she used on them so that they could touch up during the day, along with extra bobby pins, eyelash glue, finishing spray and everything we needed that night!



Gown & Alterations: The White Dress by the Shore, Clinton, CT
A
Personal Photo
I was treated like a princess every time I walked into White Dress by the Shore. My dress shopping experience was phenomenal and stress free and my alterations process, while expensive, could not have been better. Remember my gorgeous friend, Shana, from the engagement photos I stalked and stole? Well, she works at TWD and was with me at every fitting making me feel comfortable and gushing over wedding plans. Between her and my seamstress, Penny, I was in great hands. You know when you watch brides in movies trying on dresses in perfect preppy locations? This was exactly like that.

Flowers: Whole Foods, Milford, CT
A

I really lucked out when I met Frankie at Whole Foods in Milford. It took some time to get her to warm up to me, but once she did we became fast friends. When ordering my flowers I went in with a budget and some inspiration photos and left the rest to her. The trickiest part was figuring out exactly what would be in season locally, but Frankie’s a pro and did an amazing job getting me as close to my vision as possible. I also want to clarify that this wasn’t just a bulk order and that she did all of the arranging for me. All we had to do was drop the flowers into our vases and we were good to go!  My cost for 12 centerpieces and 1 bridal bouquet (along with my semi-homemade boutonniere & bridesmaid's bouquets) was $300.


Cutting Cake:  Glukey’s Gluten Free Bakery, Milford, CT
A



Debra had never made a Paleo cake when we first spoke, but luckily she was up for the challenge. We emailed back and forth and spoke on the phone countless times to ensure that she understood all of these crazy restrictions. We ended up with a 9” lemon cake with fresh strawberries and lemon frosting. Our non-Paleo guests had no idea that this cake was “different” until we told them and they all agreed it was the tastiest of all of our available cakes.

Venue: Madison Surf Club, Madison, CT
A




While I had begun to experience some venue regret in the months leading up to our wedding, looking back I could not have imagined a more beautiful and perfect location. Our guests were in awe of how gorgeous the setting was – and so were we! The Surf Club staff was extremely helpful and accommodating and all of the fears I had shared were definitely not realities! The Town of Madison does require that you have a Madison resident host your event for you, so if you know a Madison resident I would absolutely recommend our venue again and again!


(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)
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Expectations vs. Reality: Nothing is Fool Proof

When we last left off, I expressed my disappointment in how some parts of our wedding were set up. For some reason it had never really crossed my mind that our wedding wouldn't match detail for detail the plans that I had laid out. I guess I figured that with enough written and pictorial instructions that set-up would be fool-proof. Lesson learned: Nothing is ever fool proof.

I'm no longer upset about the failures, but it did take me months to get to this point. Now when I think about our wedding, I think about seeing my husband for the first time and looking out at our guests just before we said our vows. I remember dancing and singing to "Call me Maybe" and climbing to the top of a human pyramid of groomsmen.
Wedding Guest Photo via Instagram
I don't care as much about the failed escort cards and missing decorations; and the anger I felt toward our DOC isn't quite so raw anymore. It helps that our photographer didn't focus as much on the details and instead got some amazing candid shots of us and our guests. And frankly, these are the photos that will be hung on our walls to remember forever.

 But let's move on to the fun stuff, shall we?

Reception Tables:

Expectation:
Reality:

I had high hopes for our tables. They changed design direction about a thousand times leading up to the wedding and were finally solidified when I found these gorgeous Mara Mi napkins at Target. Sadly, it was really windy during set up and there was a fear that the bamboo plates and napkins wouldn't hold even with a shell holding them down so they were placed at the buffet instead. Obviously the weather couldn't be controlled, but our tables ended up looking so bare! And I wish someone had thought to place the shells scattered on the table instead. I spent several weekends scouring our local beach for the perfect shells and picked and cleaned hundreds of them! (Our flowers looked great though!)

Lantern & Table Scheme:

Expectation: 
 Reality: 

The inspiration may be from our indoor rain backup venue, but it translated pretty well to the tent setting. Outside of the tables not being perfect, the only issue I had was that only about a quarter of my lanterns were hung. I had great visions of hundreds of lanterns in our tent, but most of them stayed boxed up due to lack of time during set-up.

At the end of the day, nobody will remember all of the decorating mishaps. Given enough time, I may forget all together too. Just a few months later and I'm already having a hard time getting all riled up about it. The truth is,  if the worst thing that happened on our wedding day was that it wasn't set up exactly the way I wanted it to be, then I think it was a pretty great day. And it really was.

Wedding Guest Photo via Instagram
(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)
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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Expectations vs. Reality

The wedding may be over, but that doesn't mean I'm finished here quite yet!

My tablescapes post featuring my Type A Photoshop skills was surprisingly and flatteringly popular, so I thought it would be fun to take a look at how the actual wedding day outcomes stacked up against my visions.

Truth be told, I was actually pretty disappointed in parts of the set-up. There were a lot of factors that led to things being not quite as I had hoped. Some had to do with weather, some with our caterer, and many were due to our Day of Coordinator. Sadly, at the 3 month post-wedding mark, I still get peeved when I think about the issues. You may remember that I tossed aside quite a few projects for the sake of my sanity, so the ones that I did spend time on were important to me. To see that they were handled poorly, or not handled at all makes me sad. If I had known that the signs I painstakingly designed and cut would never be put up, that the escort straws I spent forever on would be useless, or that the hundreds of shells I collected from a local beach would stay in a box inside the venue - well, frankly I just wouldn't have bothered.

I owe a million thank-you’s to my family, especially my mom, aunts and cousins who saved the day when they arrived at the venue an hour before the wedding to find that nothing was set up yet. They moved tables, set up chairs, put out décor and managed the event staff. My poor Auntie America was working right up until the start of the ceremony. She loves me.

I'm really worried about coming off as ungrateful or whiney in these. I hope you guys know that's not how this is intended. The truth is, I was/am pretty disappointed with how some of my visions turned out. I planned a lot. I had ideas. I paid a lot of money to make sure that they were carried out in a certain way. At the end of the day, our wedding was amazing. I married my best friend surrounded by the people that we love most. And we threw one hell of a party.

So my reason for writing these isn't just to complain. (Of course, it's nice to get some things off of my chest!) It's also to show you planning bees out there that things don't always work out the way you planned. Sometimes things even turn out disastrously. (I'm looking at you, escort cards.) You may spend hours of your life devoted to a craft that nobody will ever see. It will suck and you may want to cry or yell at your coordinator/caterer/anybody who is willing to listen. But then your new husband will say "Yes, it sucks. But what do we always say?" and you will say "Eff it" and move on. And the rest of the night will be incredible, regardless of how un-Pinteresty your tables ended up.

Let's start off with the ceremony:

Expectation:
 Reality:

This one came pretty darn close to my vision, however, I can't for the life of me understand why there were just two rows of seats. A couple of guests said that they couldn't hear anything because of it and people ended up standing in the back just because it was a better place to see and hear. I was also a little disappointed that my reserved signs didn't end up on the chairs because the DOC forgot to bring tape. Not the end of the world, so overall I was happy with the outcome.

Next up, we'll look at the "Relief Station."

Expectation:
Reality:

This is the only photo I have of the Relief Station and from what I can tell, it looks pretty great. Since we got married on the beach, I wanted to provide our guests with items to make them comfortable at the ceremony. The Relief Station had bottled water, sunscreen & bug spray, cold lemon scented washcloths, fans, and the biggest hit of all: sunglasses!

Right after the ceremony, the guests hit up the Escort Card Table to grab some champagne and find their seats.

Expectation:
Reality:
I'm actually happy we don't have a real photo of this because it was a total disaster, but here's a mock-up of how it turned out:

The first thing I noticed after I kissed my husband and walked back up the aisle was the Escort Card Table. It took everything in me not to go and tackle our caterers for bringing the wrong glasses. Not only that, but our DOC decided to de-alphabtize all of the straws that we had separated for set-up ease and had thrown them all into one giant bucket. Not only was there chaos with getting people seated (I actually had guests coming to find me during pictures and in the back room while I was hiding out waiting to be announced because nobody knew where to go), but I spent hours of my life making those straws. If I had known it wasn't going to happen I would have done something simpler.

Card Table & Guest "Book"

Expectation:
Reality:

This table turned out pretty well! And our DJ did a great job of making sure everyone signed our guest print. (He was the best)

The Bar

Expectation:

Reality:
Looks pretty good, right? The bar was obviously a huge hit and bartenders were the greatest. Unfortunately, the menu that I created doesn't at all match what was provided. Annoying for many reasons including: 1) We were pretty specific in the drinks that we wanted, 2) our venue did not allow glass and I specifically said canned beer only, 3) Again, I feel like I wasted my time creating a menu that was completely useless. 4) We also agreed to have a case of cider hidden for me since it's one of the only things I can drink. That was extremely disappointing.

There's more to come in the next installment of Expectations vs. Reality!

In the meantime, how did your expectations match your outcomes?

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)
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Monday, November 11, 2013

I Carry Your Heart: Little Details

After we had our grand sparkler exit, Mr. Rucksack and I turned right back around and went back into the venue to help with clean up. Our original plan was to leave our car with our DOC so that she could pack everything up and then we'd pick it up from the venue the next day, but we made a snap decision at the end of the night to pack the car ourselves and take it to the after party instead of taking a cab.

Because our DOC had so many issues with set-up, we didn't completely trust that she would be able to finish clean-up alone. Many of my family members stayed to help and we couldn't just peace out and let them do all of the work. Plus, we were completely sober at the end of the night, so taking a cab seemed silly. Truth be told, it was kind of fun breaking down lanterns while gabbing with my cousins at the end of the night.

Since I don't have any pictures of the breakdown process or our little after party at a local bar, I think this is the perfect time to discuss all of the little details that we packed up instead.
Pro-Pics of our Watercolor Save the Dates. I have totally given up on anonymity.
My beloved self-designed lobster invitations and envelope.
Welcoming Flamingos to guide the guests
Hand picked shell place cards for the head table.
Paper fans for a warm outdoor ceremony
Sunglasses favors for the ceremony. They were a huge hit!
My something borrowed: a locket with pictures of my deceased grandparents, soon to be passed on to my cousin at her wedding in May!
Practical favors. And yes, my wittiness cracks me up. 
My handmade cake topper. Sadly Mr. Rucksack's head went missing after our cake cutting.
We didn't pack these guys up, but I love that they made an appearance. Also, one of these bad boys pooped on my mom during the ceremony.
Flowers getting ready to go home!
With the last of the items packed between our car and my mom's car, our little wedding was officially over. We watched as the caterers left and the venue's crew closed the doors. It was kind of surreal being the last people there and seeing everything broken down and packed away. In a way it was fitting and seemed to close the chapter of the wedding for us.

Did you have to break down your wedding at the end of the night?

(All photos by Abigail Scott unless otherwise noted)
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